Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Eavesdropping
"No, of course not" was my response.
"But what if you lived in Paris?"
"No, and I wouldn't do that anyway".
"What if you were an artist?"
"Probably not".
By this time, we had made up the ground between us (Mirjana likes to claim she is a brisk walker, and she is correct), and we could start to hear the conversation between the two of them. It went something like this . . .
(Guy with tweed coat and stupid hat): "At it's core, large scale esemble jazz is a labour of love, but you've gone and turned it into a commerical concern".
(Other guy): "Now that's not really fair . . ."
We pulled away as they continued their conversation, but I couldn't have been any more delighted with what we heard. It was like walking past two men in army uniforms, and hearing them discuss whether an AK47 is better than an M16 - it just lived up to my expectations in every way possible.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Some great Simpsons quotes
Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.
Kent Brockman: …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
Superintendent Chalmers: I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…
Homer: Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Ralph: Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.
Principal Skinner: Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.
Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.
Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
The Simpsons Movie
I did feel like it dropped off a bit in terms of laughs after the first half hour or so. The animation looked fantastic though on the big (wide) screen, and you got to see some things you wouldn't normally see on the TV show (Otto smoking a bong, Bart's penis etc).
As Alen will attest, the sound in the cinema was pretty dodgy, and there were way too many kids, including one group who talked right through it (I think they may have been the birthday party we saw in Spagos at dinner). Overall it was a good experience though, and I'm looking forward to the DVD and all the deleted stuff.
Acting my age
My friend Maggie
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Day three
Friday, July 27, 2007
Day two
Rang a number of plumbers and plumbing companies (quite a few of whom advertised their services to be available 24 hours a day, seven days a week) but none were available to help out until mid to late next week.
Finally I got onto James the plumber, who said that he was available to come that day, as the rain had messed up his planned job. He arrived a few hours later, and looked and sounded suspiciously like my old friend Nigel McKenna. Anyway, he took a look at the existing outlet and said the words you never want to hear, "I think I'm going to need my jackhammer". I of course realised this meant more money and more mess, but it needed to be done so I can't really complain.
Nigel, I mean James made it most of the way through, but at 4.30pm realised one of the parts he had wasn't going to fit. He promised to come back at 10.30 am tomorrow morning, so hopefully by lunchtime tomorrow I will have a working bath.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Day one
Day one of the renovation job is now all done. Today was mainly spent demolishing stuff, ran into a bit of a roadblock though when the bath proved to be a little difficult. We were hoping to be able to use the brick surrounds of the bath again but that's not going to happen, are going to have to build a timber housing.
The plan for tomorrow is to finish removing the bath and enclosure, and build a new casing for the new bath. Oh, and cut myself a little less.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Christmas in July

For those of you who haven't seen this film (possibly everyone other than Michella), it is the story of Buddy (played by Will Ferrell) who, as a baby, crawls into Santa's sleigh, and ends up in the North Pole. He is raised as an elf, but his general incompetence in areas such as toy making betrays his human origins. When his adopted father tells him the truth, he runs off to look for his real father, and ends up (as you do in all Christmas movies) in New York City.
It's actually quite a funny, sweet movie, and Will Ferrell is hilarious as Buddy. The scene where he comes across a midget in a corporate meeting and thinks he's an elf is a high point, as he enrages the little fella with questions like "Does Santa know that you left the workshop?"
I'm not really sure what to make of Will Ferrell. He's carried one of my favourite movies "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy", was serious and funny in "Stranger than Fiction", had a few great moments in "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" and a fantastic cameo in "Wedding Crashers". Add "Elf" to this and you've got a great comedic resume . . . and yet I'm not totally sold on him. It seems like he needs the right material to really shine, and has definitely had a few missteps along the way.
This is a great film though, funny without being dirty. And I'm pleased to say, if there's ever an occasion where someone is perusing my DVD collection and asks "You got anything we can watch that's not going to give me nightmares?" I'll be able to pull this one out with pride.
What a wonderful day
PS. Mike - how was the weather in smog central today?
Monday, July 23, 2007
G-Wallace
Bathroom renovations
The Good German

Best schnitzel ever?
The menu said the porterhouse schnitzel was "plate hugging", but nothing could have prepared me for the size of it. I've had the schnitzels at the Earl of Leciester and thought they were big, but I'm sure this was bigger. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me so there's no proof this ever happened, but you'll have to take my word for it.
Not only was it huge, but it was also delicious. Served with a mushroom sauce on a bed of chips, it even came with a side bowl of salad, which I ignored completely, saving my energy for this massive piece of meat. I'm proud to say I conquered the meal in the end, although didn't eat again for another eight or nine hours.
More exciting new bloggers
You can read all about my good friend Mike's adventures in London here:
http://michaelpenglis.blogspot.com/
and Michella's love of expensive jewellery right here:
http://michellacrouch.blogspot.com/
Friday, July 20, 2007
Things I like and things I don't
Roasted almonds
Infinitely better than regular almonds. And I'm led to believe they are healthy, or sort of at least. I've been enjoying these as a mid afternoon snack at work, when I start to get the urge to visit the charity chocolate boxes in the kitchen.
My Name is Earl

They are showing repeats of this on the Comedy Channel every night at 7pm. It's not the best show by any means, but thanks to the efforts of Jason Lee in the titular role, it's not bad. With pretty much nothing on TV now, this is becoming a part of my weeknight rotation, right before I head to the gym at 7.30pm, avoiding nightly knuckledheaded bodybuilder hour.
Having a beard
The aesthetic appeal is certainly arguable, but you can't argue with sleeping in an extra five minutes every day.
Corey's new blog
One of my closest friends, Corey Devlin, aka F'ing Corey (pictured below), now has his own blog. You can check it out here: http://myfisho.blogspot.com/. I have high expectations for this blog, and am especially impressed that he's started posting from work as of today. I can't help but think that there is still room on the blogging bandwagon for a few more though. Penglis - would it kill you to give us some insights into life with the Poms? Ribar, I'm sure you've got some great stories you could share that won't get you fired? If I told you you could even do it while you're at work, is that something you might be interested in?
Anyway with new bloggers like Cors popping up I'm going to have step up my game, expect Simmons-esque posts from now on a regular basis (length-wise, not quality-wise).
"9 Crimes" filmclip by Damien Rice
I didn't check this out until Ribar put me onto it a few days ago - to be honest it's a bit weird, the whole thing with Lisa's head as a balloon. But Damien Rice is a genius so I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I realise there are more important things going on in the world, but it makes me sad that this remains unheard and unseen by 99% of the population, with the garbage out there that sells millions of copies. If you can listen to this without getting chills you're a harder person than I.
"Easy Tiger" by Ryan Adams
This album is starting to grow on me - there's still a few too many full on country songs, but it's definitely his best since "Cold Roses". And just in time too, since I'll be seeing him in a month from now.
Complex magazine
It's kind of expensive, and a little bit gangsta, but I like reading this. Half of each issue is pop culture - movies, music, TV etc, and then the other half (bound upside down behind a second cover) is a kind of buyers guide - collectable sneakers, watches, stuff likes that. Lots of completely unnecessary items, but it soothes my inner-materialist. The current issue features a joint cover with the star of the best movie of the year - Seth Rogen - and the man behind the greatest rap album ever - RZA. How can you go wrong?
Rap music
I'll admit that 95% of it sucks, I won't even debate that. But for every 19 pieces of crap, there's one piece of gold*.
So, if you only listen to ten hip hop songs in your life, make it these ten**.
1. 100 Miles and Running - NWA
2. Jesus Walks - Kanye West
3. Get By - Talib Kweli
4. Protect Ya Neck - Wu Tang Clan ***
5. Hit 'Em Up - Tupac ****
6. Today Was a Good Day - Ice Cube
7. Don't Sweat the Technique - Eric B and Rakim
8. Rock Superstar - Cypress Hill
9. Get the F... Outta Dodge - Public Enemy
10. Ante Up - M.O.P
*Not an exact mathematical formula.
** If you're offended by bad language, objectification of women, and random death threats, best to steer clear of songs 1, 5, 6, 9 and 10. Especially 5 which manages to score the trifecta.
*** Actually the entire first album - "Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers" - is fantastic, and still sounds fresh and unique 14 years after it was released. For some reason - maybe the 95% philosophy outlined above - there are very few great hip hop albums - most have one or two good songs and a lot of filler. This is the exception. This group were also part of one of my all-time favourite moments on "The Larry Sanders Show", when they were booked to appear on the show, and a horrified Hank, after looking through the CD booklet exclaimed "They look like car jackers!"
**** I've mentioned this to friends before, but I find this song amazing as it probably led to the murder of its author, which doesn't happen real often, and makes me feel a little uneasy about including it on the above list. On the other hand it's hell catchy.
Sports on the world wide interweb
Just quickly, if you're looking for a good NBA podcast, you should subscribe to "The Basketball Jones" - you can get it here: http://www.thebasketballjones.net/, or through iTunes. And one sportswriter/blogger I'd recommend is MJD who writes a daily column here: http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/tag/TheDebriefing/.
Things that kind of suck
Remixes of popular songs
I was shopping in an exclusive boutique today (OK, fine, it was Cotton On, are you happy now?) when I heard a remix of the 80's song "Africa" by Toto. Now this song has a special place in my heart, but the remix was horrible. Why do we need a techno "Africa"? What purpose does this serve? I remember a couple of years ago when Forcey was annoyed with some stupid remix of "Boys of Summer". At the time I couldn't really care less, but now I think I understand how he felt. Anyway I'm sure I'm not alone here - I overheard a Mum telling her young child "It's OK, just cover your ears for the next few minutes." She was probably talking about the volume of the music, but I like to think she was talking about the song itself. Kid's don't need to be hearing that stuff.
Personal websites other than blogspot
Blogspot has already established itself as the site of choice for some of Adelaide's most exciting new bloggers, such as myself, Mirjana and Corey. Still there are some people who think they know better, and are using other, inferior sites.
Gav (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=101554496) - like Forcey once said, Myspace is just one step away from being a dating site. Plus it's ridiculous - millions of people putting up a couple of pictures, and a list of their favourite bands, with hundreds of "friends" with names like "psychokiller666" leaving messages like "stopped by your site to say hello", "you rock", "had a sick time Friday night" and other inane nonsense.
Paul (http://www.tagworld.com/forcey) - I know you're committed to team Tagworld, but if you were to make the change to blogspot, you would still be able to keep your video clips, my eyes wouldn't hurt so much, and my computer would crash less often.
The Police at Football Park

I was surprised to hear that they are booked to play Footy Park, and I'm not sure how they'll go filling the place. It seems to me that most bands that play Football Park are a) legendary bands with 20 years or more of sustained popularity (eg U2), or b) lowest common demoninator rubbish that the chicks love (eg Robbie Williams). I'm sure the Police were huge in their time (I think they broke up when I was like 8 years old), and they still get played a lot on Mix FM, but I don't see 50,000 Adelaide residents shelling out $100-$250 to go to this. Maybe I'm wrong though. Hopefully Sting comes to his senses and leave Kanye behind at least.
Guys at my gym who don't know how to park . . .
And think they can park in areas that are clearly designated thoroughfares. Perhaps 90% of the time these cars are either Commodores or Skylines, so yeah, you come to your own conclusions.
The Chinese Government
A few of my regular readers would be aware of this story, and in terms of stories about the Chinese Government, it's more humourous than shocking. Anyway, news surfaced this week that the Chinese Government had issued a statement saying it was displeased with Yao Ming, the star of their national basketball team and starting centre with the Houston Rockets. His crime - apparently he had not returned fast enough to China to train with the National team after the completion of the NBA season, because he was planning his wedding, and spending time promoting the upcoming Special Olympics, and 2008 Olympics, which are to be held in . . . Beijing! In their own country! This is ridiculous enough on its own, but the comments from the Government were particularly ludicous (and a litle bit chilling):

"No matter how lofty public welfare activities are, they can't be allowed to take first place in a player's life," the China Sports Daily, a federation-owned newspaper, said in an article appearing Tuesday.
"No matter how sweet personal life is, it can't be compared to the exultation of capturing glory for one's nation," the article said.
Sure it's not on the same level as running down students in Tienamen Square or enslaving an entire country, but it shows you that China is still a pretty Orwellian type of place to live, and makes you appreciate the lives we live in Australia.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
New shoes
So I headed off to A-Mart Sports at lunch time today. The things I was looking for in my new running shoe were:
1) Something that fits (obviously)
2) Something that looks good
3) Something produced by a known and reputable company
4) Something that costs less than $100
5) Something that was worth considerably more than $100

It took me about five minutes of looking, but I think I found something that fulfils all of these criteria - I picked up these Adidas marked down 50% to $80. It's times like this that I'm glad that I'm a guy and I can knock off tasks like this in a quarter of an hour.