Saving the world

I had someone come to my door last night collecting for charity. I don't get a lot of visitors, so got a little excited when I heard the knock on the door. Sadly, it was just someone who wanted my money.

She explained that she was collecting for some international wildlife fund, and this year they were collecting for the River Murray too. She asked me if I cared about those things, and even though I don't really, I said I did. It's not that I'm anti-wildlife or the environment - it's just that I think there are more important things to focus on. Like people for example. If someone said to me "We've got a rare polar bear here, and a human, and we're going to kill one of them, which one would you like to save?" I'm taking the human every time. Just common sense really. Let's solve the people problems first, then we'll deal with the animals.


So I tell her to hold on, I'll just go find my wallet. I grab it and realise I've only got twenties, and no way do I care about polar bears that much. So I ask if she has change.

And she tells me that it's not that type of thing, she's not actually collecting money now, just "signing people up". She tells me I fill in this form, and then at the end of the month, I send them all the loose change that I've put aside. I figured that was something I could deal with, I do hate having a bunch of coins in my wallet, so I agree to take the form. Then I notice that there are details for my bank account or credit card details. Turns out, when she said "you give us your loose change", she actually meant "give us your bank account details, so we can siphon money from your account every month."

Of course, that wasn't going to fly, so I politely explained that it didn't really sound like my thing, and wished her a good night.

It was the second time in the last week someone had asked me for money in convoluted, creative manner, and I'm not a fan. I got a phone call from Mumbai a few nights ago where the caller started off by saying that my phone number had been randomly selected and I had won a free mobile phone. Of course they were trying to sell me on a phone plan. Just once I'd like to hear someone ring and say "I'm gonna be totally honest with you, I'm going to try and convince you to change your current telecommunications provider." It's possible I'd still hang up on them, but it would be a more pleasant experience for both of us.